Monday, December 17, 2012

Arrrrr. A poet and you didn't know it.

Charlie and I are talking about Shakespeare. Not sure how it came up. A bit about Romeo and Juliet was discussed. I ask Charlie "Do you know who Shakespeare is?" He says "Yes". I ruge him "Well..tell me what you know" Charlie pauses, unsure of himself for good reason. "He was a famous pirate?"

Thursday, June 14, 2012

philosophy 101

I was fortunate enough to find myself on a long car trip with just Charlie which meant we got some rare one-on-one time. He began chatting, telling me 'It's hard to explain Mum but sometimes I just think Why are we here?' and then went on to ask some of the age old questions of humanity, 'Why are there people, and not just planets?' 'Why is there anything here at all, and not just nothing?' 'Are we the aliens to another life form somewhere else in the universe?' 'What happens when we die?' etc..I responded and answered what I could, what I believed but then he asked me the question that completely floored me. I could not even fathom how to begin to answer and it made my head hurt contemplating it too. He asked me 'And how do you even make paint? like, from scratch?'

Monday, April 09, 2012

Shark-a-snack

Watching the news about a shark attack and Tom turns to Pete and says 'We are just meat really aren't we? And that's why sharks eat us.'

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Breakdown

Tom asks 'What happens if ALL the racv trucks break down?'

Whipper Sniper

We had a beautiful weekend, part of which we helped celebrate a dear friend's 50th birthday. We haven't really seen her and her husband since they had their third child and we had our third...testament to the damage having a third can do. It's not just your sex life and date nights, it's your close friendships too.
Anyway we were enjoying a lovely evening in their converted church home with children running free and playing beautifully, a warm fire, pizza from the outdoor oven and drink a plenty ( I was not). Speeches began and the hundred so guests positioned themselves in the large family area, with a view of the stairs leading to the mezzanine where children were playing with lego, dress ups and trains galore. I felt special to be mentioned in the speech in the context of having given the couple a 'Great parenting tip - when things turn to shit with the kids, just be silly. It diffuses the mood and takes them aback'. Pity I had long forgotten this gem and had returned to the old ways of yelling and threatening..ahem..I mean outlining consequences.
The timing could not have been better when one of the lady guest shrieked 'It's a sniper' and pointed to the stairs to the mezzanine. Someone else muttered something about the grassy knoll and their was much laughter before I looked to see my Tom standing on the stairs, mask upon his head, plastic AK47 pointed directly at the hundred people listening to speeches, his face angry and quite serious in his role of 'crazed gunman'. He explained later he was a 'guard' which made me feel moderately better about the future and any possibility of me being on the front of the Herald Sun.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Tom turns four

And it feels like it's been four years of questions.
Just a sample from just the last week
"Do people live of Mars?" and then "What's Mars?"
"What's a cemetery?" and then "What's buried?"
"What do they do in an army barracks? Play war?"
"Whats behind the picture on a computer screen?" and "What's under your eyes if you take them out?"
"Who made the sky blue and the clouds green? I mean white."
"Do aliens eat fish?"

The guy who wrote that adults kids book 'Go the F to sleep' needs to make it a trilogy by adding the books 'Just shut the F up' and 'I don't F'ing know'

Tom has also loved dressing up the last few weeks. He has been a policeman and made hand'calfs' out of straws, and shoved things into his belt asking me 'What else does polices have? I've got my punisher' (holding up his pretend baton) He has also been a builder, garbage collector, chef, Superman and my favourite, a shop keeper. He set his shop up in our spare/junk room and took all our food and yelled at us 'I HAVEN'T GOT ANY CUSTOMERS!!!' until we come in and buy our food back before putting it in a shopping bag and saying 'Come again' with a slight Punjabi accent.

He got a garbage truck for his birthday, a perfect present for him and his obsession with recycling and garbage and checking to see what we have thrown out before crying 'That's MY toilet roll' and dragging out a tuna juice stained soggy cardboard scrap from the bin. He asked when we gave him his gifts 'Who got me the truck?' and I answered that we all did. He went off to kinder with his chocolate dipped strawberries to share that we had made the night before. On the way home from kinder when he insisted on knowing again 'I just want to know who got me the truck?' I told him I had chosen it for him (there was no-one else around to hear) and he looked so happy and said 'Thank you' pause 'Do I need to thank you for the strawberries too?'

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

FUCK THE HOUSEWORK

This is a good remedy for those glossy house/home/interior design porn magazines.

Decisions, decisions

Will and Charlie are talking to each other in the back of the car. I hear something about how if Charlie 'chooses to be gay' and interject.
'You don't necessarily choose to be gay'
They stop talking, astonished at this. 'What do you mean?'
'Well if you are a homosexual man, in most instances it wasn't a decision you made, it was just how you are and how you feel. You are attracted to men, not women.'
They nod as they process this.
Will says 'Well I hope I don't see a man with mascara on and accidentally get attracted to him!'

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Conversations with Tom

Conversations with Tom remind me of an intense Q&A episode, where there is some eccentric on the panel who goes off on some tangent at some stage in the convo.
It all starts off ok.
'What's blind?'
'It's when you can't see?'
'Is this blind?' scrunches his little face while closing his eyes
'Kind of. But it's not just having your eyes closed, your eyes can not see.'
'How do you get blind?'
'Some people are born blind. Other people go blind because they didn't eat properly, or had a disease...'
'Are there blind people in the world?'
'Yes'
'Who?'